My thoughts and I

I am struggling with feelings of sympathy towards a man who had no sympathy for me when he controlled my life the way he thought it should be lived.

I don’t understand those feelings of mine or the place they are coming from. They surprise me. After all I felt none for him before.

His tone of voice, the stammering while trying to say something, the search for words and the anxiety.......... and the fact that I don’t listen or not wanting to listen.......all generate compassion later.

Perhaps that is what humanness is all about however insensitive the other person has been.

There is no joy seeing a man down even though he led himself there. I empathise the utter despondency he must be feeling. Or does he?? Is he capable of such? I don't know. Perhaps he is.

But once bitten twice shy so I am aware not to let those feelings engulf me to lead to a path of trusting him. I need to look after myself.

It is beyond my comprehension as to how we got to where we are today or how a brain kept doing what it did without learning from mistakes.
I have stopped trying to comprehend. I don't think i ever will